Everything is going to be okay, my aunt used to say. Such a sweet spirit, such a sweet smile, and it seemed like she didn't let very much bother her. Life wasn't easy, but she knew it was going to be okay.
Those words resound in my head, just the way she said them, when I start to let my feathers get ruffled by life's many inconveniences, tribulations, and stabs. There are so many things that I find it easy to get upset about---not being more successful in a career, not investing more in relationships with family & friends, not being financially peaceful (yet...you just wait, I'll get there), car troubles, and non-achievement of goals. Often it seems like whatever I try to do, life throws a wrench in it before I have a chance to be successful with it.
Everything is going to be okay.
It's hard to stay strong, to keep believing in myself when I see so many obstacles. I overlook my triumphs, I see obstacles as bigger than they are, and I don't take time to count my blessings. But when all is said and done, if I have lived a life of love and kept my priorities in order, it's okay that I never became the big star of whatever I hoped for because I've got family & friends that I love and who love me so much.
Everything is going to be okay.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
ABCs of Reality
ABCs of reality makes it all sound so simple to do. Really it's just a simple way of logical thinking. Accept reality, believe in yourself, and have confidence. This, in action, is much more complex than the title makes it sound, but it helps me think through situations in which I find myself; maybe you will benefit too.
There is a saying along the lines, "Everyone wants to blame our generation, but did they ever stop to think who raised us?" That is to say that whatever goodness or badness exists in each person, it will be passed to their descendents not by genetics, but simply by learning those traits through cohabitation unless someone is strong enough to break the chain.
Remember thinking to yourself as a child, "When I grow up I'm never gonna make my kid (fill in the blank with something a parent made you do that you were unwilling to do)." Or perhaps you recognize that a parent handled a situation inappropriately, triggering you to think that you would never respond that way to your children. Did you follow through?
Are you strong enough to break a chain that holds you back, a chain that can hold back your kids? What does it take? Where does the strength come from?
I'm no psychologist. I'm no expert on any one matter, but I am learned and skilled in many areas. Here's my hypothesis: accept reality+believe in yourself=confidence. When you accept certain things of your past and accept your current situation, it's easier to accept responsibility for the things you did to determine your current situation. When you can accept responsibility, it's easier to identify the things for which you can now be responsible in order to make a positive and effective change. When you set your responsibilities and standards reasonably, you can begin thinking of ways you can, instead of ways you can't. When you achieve one small goal, another goal seems easier. When you can accurately identify the realities in your life, you can believe in the reality of you--that's part of accepting reality, accepting yourself. It all builds confidence, but I've learned over the past few years that they seem to go hand in hand.
Sometimes it seems like the changes I thought were so necessary before I took time to evaluate reality turn out not to be changes that need to be made at all. Sometimes it seems like just accepting my own circumstances, accepting myself, were the only changes that really needed to be made.
There is a saying along the lines, "Everyone wants to blame our generation, but did they ever stop to think who raised us?" That is to say that whatever goodness or badness exists in each person, it will be passed to their descendents not by genetics, but simply by learning those traits through cohabitation unless someone is strong enough to break the chain.
Remember thinking to yourself as a child, "When I grow up I'm never gonna make my kid (fill in the blank with something a parent made you do that you were unwilling to do)." Or perhaps you recognize that a parent handled a situation inappropriately, triggering you to think that you would never respond that way to your children. Did you follow through?
Are you strong enough to break a chain that holds you back, a chain that can hold back your kids? What does it take? Where does the strength come from?
I'm no psychologist. I'm no expert on any one matter, but I am learned and skilled in many areas. Here's my hypothesis: accept reality+believe in yourself=confidence. When you accept certain things of your past and accept your current situation, it's easier to accept responsibility for the things you did to determine your current situation. When you can accept responsibility, it's easier to identify the things for which you can now be responsible in order to make a positive and effective change. When you set your responsibilities and standards reasonably, you can begin thinking of ways you can, instead of ways you can't. When you achieve one small goal, another goal seems easier. When you can accurately identify the realities in your life, you can believe in the reality of you--that's part of accepting reality, accepting yourself. It all builds confidence, but I've learned over the past few years that they seem to go hand in hand.
Sometimes it seems like the changes I thought were so necessary before I took time to evaluate reality turn out not to be changes that need to be made at all. Sometimes it seems like just accepting my own circumstances, accepting myself, were the only changes that really needed to be made.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)