Tuesday, January 3, 2012

What Others Think...

...really doesn't matter.

As with my other entries, I intend to read this myself. A lot.

What others think really doesn't matter because they aren't responsible for you. The important thing is being at peace with yourself. If you can look yourself in the mirror, in the eyes, and embrace hard truths about yourself, you're taking a step in the right direction.

Other people aren't responsible for the choices you make. They don't live with the consequences of your decisions. So it's really important to make decisions you can live with. It seems so simple in print, but when you face circumstances in real life that present troublesome decisions, it's easy to start focusing on how the response will affect every one else.

It could just be me. I admit it: I have an overwhelming tendency to seek not only the approval of others but also their admiration. It's evident in every facet of my life. The peace that I have found with this tendency is that I don't let it rule my actions. I still do things based on my own principles. Others disagree with them, sometimes. Those are the times I really struggle; I waste precious time and energy concerning myself with how others accept my actions...yet it wasn't important enough to change my action.

Sometimes this can be good, sometimes it can be bad. Maybe there's a habit I need to break, maybe there is a virtue that could use improving. I'm open to conviction and yield accordingly. The real question at the heart of the matter is where is peace inside me (you, whomever).

I am not shy about admitting that I used to see a therapist regularly. She helped me cope with some major milestones in my life, and she helped me develop better ways of thinking so I could live a healthy life. One of the things we discussed was being a peacemaker. I confided in her that I feel so convicted to bring peace to situations in which I find myself. She pointed out that I could hardly bring peace to others if I didn't first have it within. Again, this is something that seems so simple in print, so obvious; yet, without her direction, I don't know that I'd have thought of being a peacemaker that way. Peace starts with me. In your own life, (conviction) starts with you.

In fact, whatever the key word or hot topic is that you're facing, it starts with you. Be the change you wish to see. If you're already doing this, you're ahead of this blog entry. Also, you might be facing something different...finding the strength to keep doing it! It can be hard to keep being the change you wish to see, but hopefully it gets easier with time and practice. If you're not, it's okay to be humble and admit a wrong. It took me a long time to get there, but it's a change I'll never regret.

Keep on keeping on. Identify the conviction: for me, it's bringing peace to others. Start with the one convicted. So for me, I'll start by being more forgiving of my own faults. It's hard to move past faults and grow from mistakes if one continually looks at mistakes rather than looking towards the goal.

I'm reminded of (dare I admit?) Runaway Bride: "Let us visualize. Be the ball. Sink the putt. Make the shot. Nothin' but net. Never say die." - Peggy Flemming Maybe it sounds silly, but visualizing it actually does help. Think about how you can handle that next convicting predicament, and when the test comes, remember that visualization and follow through. Stick to your convictions.

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